have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
