Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
