mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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