tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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