oh god the rape fog is back!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
