were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
