If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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