you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
