Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
