I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
