The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
