Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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