What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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