Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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