I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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