it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
whose parrot is this?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
