he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
