wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
