I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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