i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
