You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
