we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
