rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
