I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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