is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
