He asked to "fluff my boner.."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
