i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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