last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize