If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
