Whod you bang
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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