U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
