bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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