I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize