That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
