For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize
