Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
