Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my shit smells like andre
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
