Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
