I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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