I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My nipple is on Facebook.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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