If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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