Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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