i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The convent might be a nice break from real life
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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