he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
