all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
