I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I will be naked everywhere
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
