You just made me feel so damn special
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Randomize
