Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
