youre lurking in front of me
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
