I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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