i would punch a child for taco bell
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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