I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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