erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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