That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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