I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize