oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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