Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
