would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
