This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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