i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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