What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
