Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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