Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
