Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
