Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
