He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I love you. Go after that dick
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
